About Dr. Bear

Lived many places, love food, unable to not have a conversation, earned PhD in Philosophy.

foolish heart

This is a belated Valentine’s Day Entrée.
As sometimes happens, the audio is available here.

Some things simply cannot be known.

You cannot look at the sky and track the eagle,
You cannot look at the sea and track the ship,
you cannot  look at the rocks and track the snake,
and you cannot explain the human heart.

I am a man of reason.
Not only do I believe in the power of reason, I have lived relying on reason. It is part of my credo, and a big, big part of my life. It is deeply engrained in who I am. Although I generally argue against splitting the person into different parts, as if mind, body, heart, and soul were all different things to be examined and discussed separately, I have found that the heart keeps its own council, and does not always seem to be inclined to share its plans, or even its reasons. As Blaise Pascal wrote: “The heart has its reasons of which reason cannot know.”
I have spoken to men who have had heart surgery and am amazed at how many of them report being more emotional, more open to tears, more sentimental afterwards. A broken heart: is that not just a metaphor? Breaking the organ does not really affect one emotionally, does it? Yet this metaphor has a power beyond our casual use of it. The heart is its own creature, doing as it will, being broken or healed.

The heart is a mystifying aspect of being human.
The heart suddenly decides something else. One sees a pair of eyes, one hears a voice, one is stabbed by a smile and a laugh, and suddenly the world is flooded with colour.
There is suddenly an ache, a euphoria, an inescapable weight heavier than stone, and a sudden flight lighter than air. In the harshest winter, there is suddenly full spring, or in the softest summer, there is suddenly frost.
Where there were plans, suddenly one wastes time, and the plans keep changing to turn into new plans—sometimes grudgingly approved by reason, sometimes in spite of reason’s strong disapproval. The mind shakes its head, but the body—it cannot help but follow the heart. It must go where the heart sends it (enjoying every bit of the journey). One bays at the moon or hangs poems on trees. Why? Who can say? One can give a hundred reasons, but none of them are the reason.
The heart has changed, and with it… everything.
I love you; I cannot do otherwise.

Or suddenly there is a change of heart.
That sounds simple enough, but with the change of a heart, certainties vanish, worlds crumble and lives are torn apart. Where there was warmth, there is now coldness and bitterness. What could once be forgiven is now clung to in pettiness.
The heart keeps it own council. The heart has its own reasons, but the mind is left to deal with the wake of destruction—one even worse than falling into love. The heart has gone where it has gone, but suddenly the body aches with tension, with headaches, it cannot sleep, it cannot eat. Life continues, but if one’s heart is not in it, it is drudgery, routine, a cold March slough.Why has the heart changed? Why has the love slowly ebbed away to pearly grey and barrenness?  Again, one can give a hundred reasons, or list a hundred faults, but none of them are the reason, none of them are at fault.
The heart has changed, and with it… everything.
I don’t love you any more; I cannot pretend otherwise.

…and none of that even begins to express the confusion and messiness of the other poor human beings whose lives are changed by that mercurial creature, the human heart.
Humans may believe that the mind is minding their business, but they are ruled by their mischievous hearts.

I know a lot. I even wrote a dissertation on human behaviour and understanding, but the wiser I get, the less I understand this simple, common, human thing: the heart.

Not even my own. 214signature

Concerning James:

Just a note for those of you who follow the Bistro:
My brother James, whom I mentioned in a previous post,
is having heart surgery early Tuesday morning.
Although he’s in fairly good health (for a sedentary 52-year-old), his heart has not been pumping well, and he will be having a valve in his aorta replaced.
Cards can be sent to my parents’ address.
I’ll try to keep you posted.

France has wine, we have wifi.

GordesOn these dreary winter days, I find myself day-dreaming of the mellow sunshine of Provence, in Southern France.
The air is different there. It is infused with a light that cannot be captured in photographs; the most realistic, literal, depictions of it are the paintings of Van Gogh or Cezanne. The air is almost a living being of light and warmth wrapped close around you, lying with you skin on skin. It has its own fragrance, one like nothing else in the world, but if I smelled it anywhere, I would know it. It is a mixture of baked grass and dry5 Avignon (56), ochre dirt, warm fennel, the spicy scent of olive leaves, the sharp, tangy sweetness of lavender, and the warm scent of waking in the early morning after a dream.
This is the part of France where Northern Europe meets the Mediterranean, so the markets are vibrant and full of color–a symphony of fresh produce. You can fill–and lose–your senses in the melons of Cavaillon. They are the size of a young breast and as sweet as the promise of new love.

There is a stereotype that the French are haughty and rude–especially the waiters. I never found this to be true. The French (and their wait-staff) are proud, and–like most 5 Avignon (11)Europeans–they do not share the compulsive or compulsory cheeriness that Americans think of as “being nice.” They are to the point and professional, but, like us, they have things to do and places to be, and their patience can be taxed. Some, of course, are rude, but some are sympathetic, just like people everywhere. The folks at the tourism desk in Cavaillon who helped us find bicycles to get to Gordes were patient and went above and beyond. Paris is, for the most part, less patient with tourists–having lived in Nashville (“Music City, USA!”), I remember just how annoying those pasty, indecisive, lumbering road-blocks could be, and I understand how easy it is to lose patience with out-of-towners. Outside of Paris, however, many of the French are very kind, hospitable and helpful. In southern France, they are also more laid back.

There are 2 things that I found hard to get in French restaurants: wifi and the bill. Europe in general is less attached to smart phones & pads than we are–you mostly see Asian tourists using them. Although there is good, high-speed internet, it is usually in specific places–homes, offices, schools, and Irish Pubs, not showered about as free wifi. There is “fast food” in France, but most French restaurants and Cafés are not fast. Waiters are really quick to seat you, and to get your drink order (and give you bread), but then leave you time to order, bring your meals as they are made, and then disappear.
I believe the two are related.
The reason that there is no rush on the final bill is because there should be no rush to finish the meal. Imagine this: you are sitting in Avignon, in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. The neighborhood is beautiful. The restaurant is beautiful. The food is amazing, and the company you are lucky enough to share your food with are both beautiful and amazing. Why should you rush? If people must rush in life, they should be rushing in order to eat amazing food in beautiful places with beautiful and amazing people, not rushing that in order to go sightsee. Have some more wine! 5 Avignon (28)Try a bottle of Pastis. Enjoy the conversation. Smell the beautiful air that is Provence. Live.
So, why, if you are in the most perfect place in the world, do you need to check your iPad, your kindle, your iPhone, your Android, your nook, or any other albatross binding you to another place? How could you not be completely and totally in the moment? How could there be more interesting people than the ones you are with?

We have our wifi, they have their wines. We may have one some big wars, but we have lost a very important one.

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Color in a Dreary World

As any one who knows me has noticed, I am fond of color.Dr Bear in Colour

Outside of the Bistro this week, the temperatures have been in the single digits. Under cloudy skies, it is a gray, dull, and dismal world. My response to this is to wear bright colors–a robin’s egg blue shirt, some days even purple and gold, tomorrow, my bright red tie with gold dragons. Color is how we strike back at the grayness.

A long time ago, I went through a period when I had a huge amount of black in my wardrobe. Like so many sophomoric college students, I wore black, because it reflected my cool nihilism. My favorite article of clothing was a huge Navy Lt. Commander’s great-coat we had acquired for a play that had an SS officer in it. It was huge, double-breasted, navy wool serge, hand tailored, and intimidating (occasionally, it also served as a blanket or a tent).
I named in Bazarov after Turgenev’s nihilist character in Fathers & Sons, one of my favorite Russian novels.

Then, I went through a series of experiences that showed 21-as-far-as-I-know-the-only-painting-of-me....jpgme more darkness, pain, and meaninglessness than my nihilistic poser mind could have ever imagined.

On the other side, I wore color–bright, loud primary colors.
I decorated Bazarov with Mardi-Gras beads and a pocket watch on the shoulder epaulets and wore a royal blue wide brimmed fedora.

The world is a gray, dark, cold, and dreary place, both symbolically and literally; it needs all the color it can get.
Why not wear purple? Why not red? Why not yellow pants and a green t-shirt? Why not a bright red bow tie and a blue fedora?
Why not splash your yard and garden with bright lilies or red primroses or purple violets? Why not plant maples that will be an explosive orange or a burning red?
Why not add bright carrots and purple cabbage, or rich, royal beets and sweet potatoes or even splashes of saffron or sriracha?

It will color your world, and brighten your day.
I know that it will brighten mine just thinking of you.
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Waltzing (3 Beets)

One of the things my mom taught me about food was to plan the plate so that there were a variety of colors. This is visually interesting, but also works nutritionally: Carbs tend to be white or tan, whereas healthy, fresh vegetables come in an amazing array of beet salad 1colors. Tans, browns, and greens are fairly easy–even yellows–but brighter oranges, reds, purples, are more rare.
This is a basic broiled beet recipe that can be served 3 ways. As my friend the beet expert points out, raw beets have most nutritional benefit, but these are a good dish. Also, you can just broil beets with a little olive oil and salt, and eat them like that.

First possibility: Broiled Beets

Ingredients:

  • 4 beets
  • 3 sweet potatoes
  • !/3 red cabbage
  • 1/2 red onion
  • olive oil
  • soy sauce or salt
  • red wine
  • other spices as desired
  • 3 cloves garlic

Step 1, Prepare ye the way: Scrub the skins of the beets & the sweets potatoes, and slice them about 1/8 to 1/4 of an inch (you could peel them, but lots of nutrients are in the skin; texture, too).slice the cabbage and onion.

Step 2, Shake it up, Baby:Toss the vegetables together, with some olive oil and a bit of soy sauce & red wine. Oil a large iron skillet and put in the vegetables.

Step 3. Turn on the heat: Broil on high, taking out and tossing every 6 minutes, until the edges of the sweet potatoes and beet start to caramelize (“brown” if you aren’t familiar with kitchen lingo, “caramelise” if you prefer English, if you are a real geek, “Maillardize”–however the browning of the onions is pyrolysis because it is non-enzymatic).

Step 4, Watch out! It can burn: Repeat this 4 or 5 (or more) times, beet salad 2until the roots are cooked, but still firm, browned, but not burnt. When you are almost there, add the garlic., and put it back in (warmed garlic is aromatic, burnt garlic is nasty).

Step 5, to table: Serve as a delicious, nutritious and colorful side dish, either in the hot skillet (oh, the drama) or in a dish (oh, I can pass it).

Second possibility: Broiled Beet Salad

beet salad 3Only Step, Salad: Add a bit of vinegar, perhaps some more spices like rosemary to the broiled beets, perhaps some sliced carrots, allow it to cool, and serve it as a salad, or pack it (warm) in a big Mason Jar, and then let it cool and take it on a picnic.

Third possibility: Broiled Beet Soup

If you do this, I recommend undercooking the vegetables.

Step 1, Out of the skillet, into the soup pan: Transfer the vegetables into a soup pot, deglaze with wine, and add vegetable broth.

Step 2, A few extra things: Add a can of drained and rinsed kidney beans for texture and protein, cover and let simmer.Beets & Bialys jan 21 (2)

Step 3, Serve: Spice as desired, and serve with either Bialys or dark bread, and the option of sour cream. Another option is to mix the soup before serving with sour cream or crème fraise, which makes it a garish pepto-bismol pink.

Good Night, Pete Seeger 1919-2014

Until I had an infant daughter who didn’t mind it if I sang, I wasn’t aware of just how many folk songs I knew. As I sang them, I became aware of how the songs of Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie, and their friends had influenced what I believed and what I valued. Leonard Cohan once talked about how growing up a Marxist made him believe that music would bring the revolution; Pete Seeger believed that his music came from America, grew out of America, and would help show America its best self.
Although I consider Pete’s songs to be some of America’s greatest cultural contributions, he was much more proud of his ability to get people singing, and singing together.
One could have worse legacies.
Pete Seeger PS: My daughter, my parents, & I still sing, Mr. Seeger; anybody can.

 

Alea Iacta Est

Thanks to Wode Toad for his help with the classical Wode_on_sidewalk_after_closehistory & the Latin. This is one of those times when his work in the classical department at St Andrews comes in handy.

He seems to be restless and pre-occupied, though, of late, and talks of travelling).

In the winter of 49 BC, the Roman General Gaius Julius Caesar had decisions to make. He was camped on the edge of the icy Alps, looking south, across the river.
He had established a strong political base in Rome, then had become governor of the vercingetorix-jules-cesarvarious Roman provinces bordering the tribes in Gaul. The Gauls were the various Celtic Tribes who lived in what is now France, as well as parts of Switzerland and Germany (the Gauls in Galatia–in the Balkans–had been subdued by the Romans earlier). He countered a move by one tribe–the Helvetii–and through a series of quick and effective military maneuvers established control over all of Gaul (Omnia Gallia). The crown of this military campaign was the surrender of the Chieftain Vercingetorix on October 3rd in 51 BC.
Caesar, aware of the importance of media, wrote dispatches back to Rome detailing his campaign and his soldiers’ achievements. The work is in a simple andjules-cesar clear Latin prose, yet reads well–Gaius Julius Caesar is a vivid Storyteller, and his History of the Gallic Wars was popular at the time and made him a popular hero (It is still read; Wode remembers scrumping his uncle’s copy as a tad and following the military campaigns). As an encore, Caesar invaded Britain.
However, back in the senate–the body that ruled the Roman Republic–Caesar’s political power had begun to erode. Although Caesar had power (and troops) on the frontier in Gaul, Rome was controlled by supporters of his main rival–Pompey (Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus).
Julius Caesar was commanded by the Roman Senate to vacate his post and return to Rome.

The rule was that general could only lead troops–or even carry his own weapons–outside of the boundaries of the state of Rome itself, the northern boundary of which was the Rubicon river. To come armed beyond this point was an act of treason against the Republic of Rome, and a capital offense.
However, approaching Rome unarmed and alone left Caesar at the mercy of his accusers.
As the Roman historian Plutarch puts it:
Caesar vaticanWhen he came to the river Rubicon, which parts Gaul within the Alps from the rest of Italy, his thoughts began to work, now he was just entering upon the danger, and he wavered much in his mind, when he considered the greatness of the enterprise into which he was throwing himself. He checked his course, and ordered a halt, while he revolved with himself, and often changed his opinion one way and the other, without speaking a word. This was when his purposes fluctuated most; presently he also discussed the matter with his friends who were about him, (of which number Asinius Pollio was one,) computing how many calamities his passing that river would bring upon mankind, and what a relation of it would be transmitted to posterity.”

So there he is.
At the edge of a river, just out of the Alps, in the ice of January, he is hesitating. 400 horsemen and 5000 legionnaires are waiting for his choice, all of Rome is waiting for his choice. A life of forced retirement is facing him if he goes on unarmed, and either death and humiliation or survival rises before him if he takes his army across the river.
He waits, wavering, hesitating, shivering, trying to decide.

Suddenly, he makes up his mind.
He stands up.
He looks south, across the river, and says:
“alea iacta est“–“the die is cast.”
He leads his troops across the river, into Rome, and into history.

Decisions are unavoidable.
Usually, the choices are all a mixed bag, but to not make them is the worst of all.
Julius Caesar was victorious, but his victory would lead to his death 2 years later (and the end of the Republic). To decide is to cast the dice irrevocably, to take a step into the icy waters of the Rubicon.
To live heroically is to accept the responsibility, to embrace the possibility of defeat, but to march on.
Life is uncertain